


Faded

by cosmical_soda



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Breaking Up & Making Up, Eventual Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Guilt, Hurt Nico di Angelo, Lesbian Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Nico di Angelo & Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano Friendship, Nico di Angelo Feels, Past Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Post-Break Up, Protective Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Sad Will Solace, mentioned rachel dare, nico faded bc of a quest, reyna is a BADASS MOTHERFUCKER, very self indulgent ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmical_soda/pseuds/cosmical_soda
Summary: It was just one shadow slip in a time of desperation. One slip that causes Nico to fade. He spends six months in the shadow realm trying to force his way out for Will, who he left behind. When he finally makes his way out, he finds out Will moved on just a week before he gets out. Seven years later, he's still trying to convince himself he's over it. Then someone comes along and orders a certain drink.





	Faded

Seven years. That's how long it's been since we broke up. Seven whole years.

It started out wonderful, amazing, as all relationships do. Even now, as I sit here tapping my fingers on the glass that held my wine, I have painful nostalgia churning deep in the pit of my stomach. It was my fault, I knew it. He  _tried_ apologizing to me. I'll say I deserved what he said to me before the apology, and I did, because it was all true, every last word of it.

But that didn't make the hurt any less.

I was too young, too stubborn, too damn  _stupid_ to accept the apology when he had delivered it with a gentle knock on my cabin door months later. If I did, I wonder if we could have built ourselves back up from there.

It was one shadow-slip I had made. A long one. We were on a mission and we had lost three campers. I needed to get the rest of us home, even though I knew I wasn't strong enough to attempt it. The last thing I was aware of was a scream from one of the surviving campers as I fell to the ground on my hands and knees, and the feeling of loss of substance, like when the god Favonius had turned me into a breeze.

But this feeling was somehow darker, heavier and lighter all at the same time. I had become a shadow. I had faded, just like he had told me I would if I tried this. It was six months before I managed to rip my way out of the shadow-realm through the shadow of the Athena Parthenos as a smoky mess of a boy.

Will was more than angry. He was fuming, fuming so much he was nearly hysterical. He had done the basic healing and stabilizing and then seemed to have wanted nothing to do with me. And then finally one day he had snapped, screaming and screaming at me for what seemed like hours.

_"You promised, di Angelo! You fucking promised you would come back home, and what do you do? You do the exact fucking opposite than what I told you to do, and you fucking faded! You left your home, your friends, me- you left it all behind. Do you know how many times I sat in your cabin just waiting for you to come back, waiting to hug you and kiss you and tell you how much I'd missed you and how much I'd loved you? Do you know?" There were tears running down his face and his screams were mixing in with choked up sobs as he got more and more ballistic._

_"Well?" His eyes were wild. "Say something! Say something already!"_

_I didn't meet his angry glare. "I'm sorry."_

_He didn't respond. A few minutes later Drew Tanaka walked in._

_"Hey, babe!" she drawled, pecking his cheek. The initial shock of that kiss still burns like salt on a fresh wound when I think about it._

_"Hi, Drew," Will responded, staring intently in my direction. I stared back._

_"He's not giving you any trouble?" She draped her arms across Will's neck from behind, wrinkling her nose in my direction._

_"Surprisingly, no," Will shrugged, though the fire in his eyes was still blazing._

_It was a good few minutes after Drew finally left before I gathered up the courage to say something that would sting and make him hurt, the same way he made me hurt._

_"You honestly believed I would never try to come back?" I said quietly. "You honestly believed I didn't spend every day of those last six months watching you from the shadow realm and trying to force my way through so I could come back to you? You never had any faith in me, did you?"_

_"It was just last week, Nico. I waited 5 ¾ months before going out with anyone else. You couldn't expect me to hold on to your memory forever."_

_I pursed my lips and tried not to let the tears fall. "I get it. It's fine. When're you going to let me out of here?"_

_"Considering how reckless you've been since you got out of the shadow realm, I don't know," He answered in the same flat tone I used with him._

_I sighed. "How about I just be out of your hair now?" I walked out of the infirmary and Will hesitated to follow. I put my hand on the ground and summoned Jules-Albert._

_"No more Underwolrd-y stuff!" Will shouted from the infirmary porch. "You're already fading rapidly!"_

_LIKE YOU CARE! I wanted to scream, but instead I ignored him. "Camp Jupiter." I whispered. "ASAP. Go as quick as you can, please."_

And that was the day I left camp. For good. 

The hairs on my neck stand up as a cold draft chills my bones and a door swishes shut.

"Can I have a Littmus Lozenge? Thanks," a soft, tired voice says. My brain immediately goes into panic mode and I start screaming internally.

_Gods… the Littmus Lozenge._

The drink gets its name from  _Because of Winn-Dixie._ Will used to be obsessed with that book. He would order the drink every time we came here for a night out, saying that it was the most human drink he'd ever had. I remember asking him what it tasted like. He replied that it tasted like root beer, strawberry, and sadness. When I had asked him why he drank it if it made him sad and provoked bad memories, he smiled that smile that made my knees go weak and cupped my face in his free hand.

_"When I drink this, I remember so many things, Neeks. I remember the patients I couldn't save, the wars we survived, the fallen heroes- I remember it all. But you know what else I remember? I remember the panic that had shook me like a tornado when I touched your hand that day on Half-Blood Hill and felt the darkness inside you and the fear that had nearly made me lose my mind when you said you were leaving for good after the war. That kind of bad memory I want to remember, because it reminds me just how much you mean to me, and how fucking insane it would make me if I ever left you or let you go."_

But what would that make you- no,  _us_ now?

A drink slides across the counter and a thank you is mumbled. A seat creaks as the person sits down.

My heart is pounding and I'm probably pale as a ghost, which is saying something since my complexion improved significantly over the past few years. My hands are still shaking and I set down the drink with an audible  _CLINK._

"Hey, dude, you okay?"

I shake my head rapidly, trying not to hyperventilate, not looking up at the person.

"Do- do you need some help?"

"I don't want your help," I snap and look up, surprised to hear the tears in my own voice but taking some satisfaction in seeing the bright blue eyes widen in panic, preparing myself to harden my own against his gaze. I feel a pang of hesitation and something is tugging in my stomach. I realize I don't want to do this. I harden my eyes anyway. This must have been how Draco Malfoy felt when he had to kill Dumbledore, I think bitterly. This resolve crumbles as I search Will's eyes for something, anything, and only find pain. Hurt. Suffering.

This wasn't the Will I had left.

Will recoils slightly, then straightens up. "Nico di Angelo. It's been a while. You're looking better than ever, I must say. In fact, you're looking drop. Dead. Gorgeous."

It's been seven years but the old punny compliment still makes me blush like a schoolgirl. I really don't look that different. I have a few more piercings, but that's about it.

"It's too late for that now," I say coldly, my heart dropping to the floor when Will flinches and glances away.

Will sighs deeply and takes a long sip of his root beer. "I know."

"Then  _why_? Why did you do it? Did you really think I would never try to come back to you?" My voice cracks. "Or was it all just a lie?"

Will blinks hard. "It wasn't a lie. It was never a lie," he mutters.

"Good to know." I scoff. "Now answer the damn question!"

Will sighs. "Do you remember that time you got stabbed in the leg during Capture the Flag?"

I nod.

"It was really crazy and you were bleeding everywhere," he continues. "Yet you were completely calm, sitting there like there was no gaping wound in your flesh. When I asked you why you weren't freaking out, you said that you knew, no matter what, that I would fix you. Because I was your doctor and I would never let anything bad happen to you." I notice his blue eyes beginning to well with tears. "Do you remember?"

"How could I forget?" I whisper, everything I've been unknowingly preparing myself for had we ever crossed paths again suddenly going down the drain. "That was the first time we kissed."

"I failed at that. I let you fade- I wasn't fast enough to get to you after you got back, I didn't do my best to let Chiron let me go with you on that quest, I couldn't even get you another healer to go with you- I failed. You faded and it was my fault. I didn't want to hurt you like that again. So I thought the best way not to hurt you was to let you go."

"But by letting me go, I think you hurt me even worse." I moisten my dry lips.

Will buries his head in his hands. "I'm so goddamn _sorry._ " His voice is choked up and I realize for the first time that he's been crying.

"Sometimes I think about how if you had lingered a moment longer you would have seen me thanking Drew for doing that for pretending to be in a fake relationship with me for that week so I could tell you I'd moved on, and maybe it would have been like in the stories where when you hear you come back... and then we live happily ever after," he says, letting the tears flow unabashedly now. "I had hoped that would have been how it was. And then I remembered how I only ever hurt you more than I healed you... and I would thank the gods for letting it be how it had been. I may not have had you- but at least  _you_ would have been better off. And I could have lived with that. I really could have."

I squeeze my eyes shut hard because I'm afraid if if I look at him I'll start crying, and two sobbing guys in a bar is getting nobody anywhere.

I remember how many people I dated to get over him, mortals and half-bloods alike. I don't even remember half of their names.

I slide over and lean my head against his shoulder. He's warm, like I remember him. Like all the sunshine in the world compacted into one body. Will wipes his eyes.

"I missed you," I blurt out.

"So did I," he says softly.

"But you left me,"

"And you didn't want me back,"

We stare at each other in silence.

"I was still hurt, alright?" I break the brutal silence. "Gods, I wanted you back more than anything but I was still so mad and I wanted to hurt you too. I wanted to hurt you how you hurt me so you knew how it felt, how  _I_ felt. I'm a horrible person, I know." A tear leaks out of the corner of my eye and I swipe it away, but Will sees.

The door opens and lets in a gust of wintry air. I shiver.

"You're cold. Didn't you bring a jacket?" he observes.

"Hazel threw it in the wash," I respond flatly.

I watch as he opens the snaps of his heavy jacket and begins to take it off. I know what he's going to do, and I catch his hand just as he shrugs it off one shoulder. I carefully put his arm back in the sleeve, and I don't know what comes over me, but I slipp both my arms inside his open jacket so that I was hugging him. He gathers his jacket tighter around both of us, zipping it up a little. I hook my legs around his waist so I don't fall backwards.

"You don't need to freeze for me," I mutter. He chuckles lowly and I choose to ignore it.

It feels good to be in his arms again. I sigh a little as Will tentatively threaded his hands through my hair. He was tense and I was stiff at first, but soon he relaxes and I practically melt into his touch, leaning into his chest and listening to the sound of his heartbeat, just like old times.

I don't remember the last time I felt so  _safe,_ so at peace.

"I still love you…" I murmur sleepily, the effects of the drinks I had tonight suddenly washing over me all at once.

"I do, too," Will pulls me in a little closer.

"So do you want to try again? Start over, maybe?" My eyelids feel heavy.

"That would be nice…" Will sounds just as tired as me.

I raise my head and look him in the eyes. The layers of misery and torture I saw before seem to have been stripped away, leaving the eyes I remember. Those dancing, singing, shining dark blue orbs that were the first thing I had fallen in love with all those years ago.

At that moment I throw away all of my better judgement and self control and lazily connect my lips with his in a slow-moving, sweet kiss that I've been subconsciously craving for for seven years.

That was how we fell asleep, our bodies intertwined inside a jacket, my legs straddling his waist and his arms pulling me closer.

_***TIMESKIP*** (aka additional ending)_

Something jabs me hard and I blink a few times, aware of only blinding lights. I groan and Will's arms tighten around me protectively. Reyna's face comes into perspective and she looks like she's about to tear a still sleeping Will limb from limb.

"What is going on?!" she hisses demonically.

"Go 'way…" I mumble sleepily. "Go have a dance or two more with R-" I yawn widely. "-Rachel, m'kay? I'm gonna stay here with… with…" I yawn again.

Will shifts and opens one eye. "Whassamatta?" he says groggily.

"Nothin' much." I respond, snuggling into his chest a little more.

Reyna just looks downright confused. Then realization dawns on her face and she pulls out a sword.

"I swear to all the gods, Greek and Roman alike, Solace, that if you hurt my brother again, I will  _end_ you. And that's just me. You'll also have the Seven of the Prophecy, Calypso, and Rachel to deal with, because when it comes to Nico, he's everyone's brother. Am I clear?" Her face is calm but her eyes are screaming bloody murder.

"Don't worry, Reyna…" Will shifts his position once more. "I'm not leaving him again. Not now, not ever. I'm never- never gonna hurt him again…" Then he starts snoring and Reyna just shakes her head slightly with a small smile on her face. She turns to drag a smug, picture-taking Rachel off and I lose my thoughts to the realm of Hypnos.

I know one thing, though: I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. Happiness that's going to last this time, I know it.

**Author's Note:**

> this is so fucking self indulgent im so sorry


End file.
